AUTHOR: Patrice London
We are living in some really trying times, right? More than ever, people are showing their true colors, and sometimes, the colors shown aren’t exactly, well, vibrant.
Something that is getting my attention more and more is how Jesus conducted himself with various relationships. He was nobody’s fool. He told the Pharisee’s a thing or two, on more than one occasion and enjoyed the relationships he had with those whose hearts were open.
How about you? How are your relationships? One aspect of living the royal life is having and nurturing healthy relationships. When our relationships are healthy, we thrive. Unhealthy relationships, on the other hand, can drag us down.
For a very long time, I normalized unhealthy relationships simply because I love people. I somehow thought loving them included taking whatever they decided to dish out, over and over again even when there was no willingness to acknowledge or change their behavior . God has shown me that this isn’t how He wants me, or any of us, to live.
Now, I consider the following few questions when I seek to evaluate various relationships:
1. Do I feel a sense of safety with this person?
2. Do I feel seen, heard and understood in this relationship?
3. Do I feel valued and important in an empowering way?
4. Am I able to easily get the encouragement I give?
5. Does any part of me sense feelings of warning or danger within this relationship?
6. Can I trust and be trusted in this relationship?
I’m sure there are many other things to consider. These are just a few questions to get you thinking. My prayer is, should you find some unhealthy relationships exist in your life, you will do what is needed to care for yourself and set appropriate boundaries or separate yourself altogether.
As the Passion Translation of Roman’s 13:9(c) states, “Love and value others the same way you love and value yourself”. For me, God flipped it around and asked me if I was loving and valuing myself in the same way I love and value others. The answer at that time was no.
It goes both ways, Friend. I pray that you learn to cultivate healthy relationships in your life and make changes as needed in the ones that aren’t. I pray that you truly love and value yourself along with loving and valuing others. Be well in every way.